Necessary Ambivalence

Today I found the perfect rest spot on my run. I wasn't tired and didn't need to stop. But the location - a little nook in the forest in between some trees - invited me in. The ground was cool with some snow and lots of pine needles. I sat back for a few minutes and took in the view.

What now? As I lounged in this woodsy nook, I pondered what to do next. With nothing planned, and no special place to go, I sat and soaked in a few minutes of necessary ambivalence...a few minutes of no responsibilities, no commitments, no obligations, no nothing. Just trees, snow and pine needles.

Then I rose to move up the trail, crossing a few snow fields and taking in more views. The day was crisp, and the blue sky hugged the tree line above me as I continued to climb. After getting a glimpse of Mt. San Gorgonio and the 10,000 foot ridge, I started my descent down some ski slopes. 

Then I saw something moving a couple hundred yards above me. I stopped and looked closer. It was in the middle of a snow field and I wasn't close enough to determine exactly what I was looking at, so I had to deduct in the moment what preditor this might be. Not a coyote - this was too bulky. Probably not a mountain lion - they don't show themselves until they are attacking, and this didn't seem hungry for me. Then it took off into the trees. 

So, Dorathy, yes! I do suppose we will meet some wild animals. 

 

Embrace What Comes, In Due Time

Today was another inspiring day on the path. To learn and to ponder. What else can one ask for? 

Starting with a touch of the Pacific Ocean, I turned east and fell into a consistent pace hovering around 130 bpm while climbing 1'600 feet, cresting at the top of Newport Coast. There is something about touching the ocean that draws me in. Especially knowing I will peer down from much higher ground. Knowing I was there and now I am here, that is fulfulling. 

Listening to Alan Watts along the way reminded me of some basic truths. The importance of spontaneity and effortless action. Pursuing things without forcing them to happen. Waiting for the right time for events to unfold. What the Chinese call Wuwie, or acting in harmony with the universe. Some might call this "going with the flow," with a healthy dose of spontaneity mixed in.

I think running longer distances has helped me embrace Wuwie. So many times in my life when I've been anxious and pushed too hard, too early, I end up crumpled and dissappointed. Alternatively, when I bide my time and remain patient, and let my body embrace what comes to it, in due time, I end up feeling strong and complete. 

And in harmony. 

Yesterday 4:17PM

Yesterday at 4:17PM there were grey clouds covering Saddlback Mountain. More, still, hung beutifully over the southern horizon. As I approached the lookout I decided to let my camera roll to capture the moment. Inspiring? Or just another day of a runner seeking solace through his obsession. Perhaps both.

I have not written much here in some time. Maybe that will change. I miss transferring emotion I've gained on the trail to these pages.